Sundog –noun 1. parhelion. 2. a small or incomplete rainbow.

End of Week Two: Awesomeness Comes Forth

Today is day fourteen on the Paleo diet and I woke to this incredible feeling of fabulousness in my life.

I feel FANTASTIC!!

But in my excitement I’m getting ahead of myself. Last I wrote things were not going so well due to the toxic solvents that had been wafting through our camp earlier this week.

I had ended my last entry by sharing my hope that tomorrow would be a better day. Each of the two days following that article was just a tiny bit better. Less fatigue and less pain but the brain fog was still thicker than normal again.

Yesterday I had some physical work that needed completing; a daunting task because I knew it would take me a long while. It involved very strong mental focus and physical coordination or I would likely cut myself pretty badly with the knife I was using to prepare the next two weeks worth of chicken before it was frozen.

I am actually physically sore today because of having to use my leg strength to keep the upturned bucket that was my working surface from rocking around. Arms and shoulders are sore today from the effort of cutting only chicken and not myself. I did not even have the energy to stretch my muscles out after finishing the job, all I could do was come back to bed and collapse in exhaustion with a niggling worry at the back of my head that I may have pushed myself too far.

the end of a long day
The end of a long day.

Sometimes when I have done too much, my CFS behaves strangely. Every now and then my body decides to actually start working better instead of doing worse and this time I think I have my new diet to thank for that. Once in a blue moon, I can push myself just a little too hard like yesterday and the following day I wake – energetic. Not completely wasted with fatigue as is much more usual, but full of energy and ready to start working on the next project sorely needing attention.

By no means do I recommend anyone with CFS try pushing themselves in the hope tomorrow they wake feeling energetic, but now and then when I have no choice except to push myself it is a very nice surprise the next day if it happens.

This catches us up to today. I could hardly hold my eyes open last night and went to bed surprisingly early for me. After sleeping five hours very soundly, the rest of the night was much more fitful as I kept waking up with this thought running through my head that my body was finally burning its own energy stores (fat) as it is supposed to now.

What a strange thought to keep running through my head in the early morning.

Along with that thought was an increasing amount of nervous energy I noticed each time I stirred briefly awake. Nervous energy is a great sign for me because for some reason it is where I channel extra energy, should I ever have any, until such time as I can find safe outlets to release it. I’m like an excitable little puppy dog at these times who just needs a long walk to calm back down.

air puppy
This flying puppy and I had a lot in common this morning.

When I say safe here, I mean safe for me because right now I would love to go dust off my 3lb weights and start working out, but experience has taught me that my fragile body would likely pull a muscle or something because its simply not ready for that yet.

Finally at first light I could not contain myself any longer and woke Jeremy up to start our day. I have helped with breakfast, done my daily yoga stretching, drank a very surprising amount of water, and written the rough draft for this article. All that before breakfast and I still feel amazingly awesome.

Another very interesting aspect of this change today is my own mental perception of myself. It has long been my practice to try and see myself how I want to be, healthy and fit, instead of how I currently am, chronically ill and out of shape. I believe it is much healthier to think of where you want to go than the ditch you find yourself currently in.

When I would wake briefly in the early morning today with all that nervous energy and thoughts of my body working properly, I would also have this distinct impression of being in that very same fit and healthy body I have visualized so often. So vivid was this image while I was still mostly asleep that even now I can not shake the feeling of that having been the real me, nor would I want to. It gives me a more solid picture to hold as a destination and one that feels so much more possible now.

ready to go
Looking out upon a future of health and wellness.

The road that leads to better health is a very rough and long trek after all these years of chronic illness. However, this morning I can look upon that road with a great energetic enthusiasm to lace up my boots and continue on towards that mountain’s peak I see in the distance.

Tomorrow was a much better day and will be again, of this I am sure.

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11 responses

  1. Phew! After breakfast the last of my energy has gone towards finishing this blog article. I am drained but have a good sense of contentment knowing that tomorrow there will be more energy to draw upon again.

    Thanks for reading everyone. 🙂

    Now its time for me to go take a nap! rofl 🙂

    January 11, 2010 at 4:26 pm

  2. Holy cow! 🙂

    Great stuff.

    January 11, 2010 at 4:38 pm

  3. Thanks Jody! 😀

    January 11, 2010 at 4:45 pm

  4. Snez

    This is so exciting.

    Those small experiences of extra energy are surely are wonderful sign of the good things yet to come. 🙂

    January 12, 2010 at 2:39 pm

    • Thanks Snez! I’m pretty excited by it all too. 😀

      January 12, 2010 at 3:02 pm

  5. Wow! You’ve really struggled to keep what’s left of your health. I have ME/CFS and MCS, too, though my sensitivities aren’t as strong as yours are. We keep chemicals out of the house…no poisons (even though I sometimes have to forcefully stop from husband from doing so. Someone cleans twice a month since I have no energy. The dusting is with olive oil, other cleaning with diluted citrisolve. A friend visited who had dried her clothes regularly using a scented fabric softener. It nearly wiped me out. As do any scents, such as perfumes. I’m sure there’s more in the house that affects me but I do the best I can. I wish you the best. What a story. And what a love story, too!

    January 14, 2010 at 9:33 am

    • HUH! Never thought of us as a love story though now that you’ve mentioned it I suppose it is. Now just to get Hollywood to buy our movie rights. hehe 🙂

      I’m sorry to hear you are dealing with the same combo of illness we are, its a doozy. >.<

      Never heard of citrisolv before but looked it up. You might want to look at this MSDS for it:

      https://fscimage.fishersci.com/msds/91547.htm

      With MCS, I would stay the heck away from it myself. Doubt I would be able to be within ten feet of it to be honest. Sounds pretty toxic and nasty. Natural does not mean safe in an MCS world, nature can concoct plenty of natural chemicals that are toxic when concentrated into a non-natural solution.

      Thanks for stopping by and posting. Really do like the thought of this being a love story, totally grabs that romantic in me. hehe Have a beautiful day, Lisa 🙂

      January 14, 2010 at 11:23 am

  6. Yikes! I never knew that about citrisolve. I need to find an alternative fast. If you have any ideas, let me know!

    I know a poet/actor in Hollywood but he struggles to get work now, too, but I’m going to show him your blog . He was a character actor in Matlock for years and won awards for other work. One never knows…..

    January 16, 2010 at 3:57 pm

    • Sorry Pris, I don’t really know safe cleaning products for house cleaning. The whole time my MCS has been really bad I’ve been stuck in this tent and my cleaning needs are vastly different than what yours would be. lol

      We use a lot of baking soda, castile soaps (unscented and without SLS), and soap nuts around here for our cleaning. Between the three anything we have will come clean – but we don’t have furniture, carpeting, or any number of things that get cleaned in a home, though from what I understand those three things can clean pretty much anything/anywhere. Hydrogen peroxide can be used in a diluted form for stuff needing sanitizing, same with diluted tea tree oil – or hot water depending on what it is. 🙂

      Lots of stuff out there to choose from depending on the level of your sensitivity. Read all ingredients and if possible the MSDS of things. If its got stuff you can’t pronounce then likely stay clear of it. And keep an eye out for the way things are worded – less toxic usually means its still toxic but not as much as their competitors. Those couple of tips should help you out in picking something new to use around the house. 🙂

      Showing your friend my blog sounds great!!! One of my biggest hopes for this blog is that it will one day lead me to the person who knows the path out of this tent and into a home. Never know who it might be but I have a lot of faith that someone out there knows how to get us indoors and that one day they will see this and help. 😀

      Let me know if anything comes from it, its kind of exciting. I love it when people want to share my story with others they know. 🙂

      Have a great day! Lisa

      January 16, 2010 at 6:15 pm

  7. Yes, I know your cleaning needs are really different but thanks for the tips. I have a clean and green book in a drawer somewhere that describes making cleaners for glass and vinegar and water would certainly do for tile. We stripped the carpet out last year because of my allergies and that has helped with the sore throats as has running a dry mist humidifier, oddly enough, when I sleep.

    I sent the blog link to my friend with a brief explanation of why I would encourage him to look at it. I hope he has time. He’s organizing a huge poetry bomb project right now and is getting poems in nonstop to stuff a bomb with that he’ll take on a reading tour if he gets enough donations to do it. I hope so. I also hope he can get the time to look at your blog.

    Prisxx

    January 17, 2010 at 6:05 am

    • Thanks for sending your friend the link and explanation! 🙂 No worries if he doesn’t have time for a while, things happen at their own pace. 🙂

      Have a great day! Lisa 🙂

      January 17, 2010 at 4:47 pm

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