Sundog –noun 1. parhelion. 2. a small or incomplete rainbow.

Metamorphosis

I feel as though life is currently lived in a haze of passing moments. It is difficult at times to capture what is going on around me as I’m still trying to adjust to their speed. Living in the woods for nearly 10 years was a different world than the one I life in now.

I rose when the sun was up and the animals made enough racket to wake me. Life followed the seasons and weather, Each winter I rested while dreaming of warmer days. I would initially welcome spring bringing new life back into the forest around me, then curse it for the alder tree pollens that nearly crippled me with allergies each year. Summer would come as a blaze of warmth and sunshine, drowsy hours spent resting in the sun and locking away the memory to be cherished next snow storm. The autumn would bring a welcome crispness to the air and spur me to finish all my winter preparations.

Life was much simpler as each season had its own pace and little to hurry me before the next season began to make itself known.

Over the years I would often dream of once again living indoors. Things would be easier, I would feeling safer – being warm. One thing I always forgot to add into the details was the flow life takes when you have places to be and things to do.

I feel as though time stood still while I lived in a tent, events moving around me to change the world I live in, but ultimately not touching me. I saw a war, a new president, our economy plummet, avian flu bugs, cellphone use explode to a way of life, gas prices sky rocket, the internet become a culture – all of this and more as though looking on through a one way mirror.

Now life feels considerably different. Trying to reintegrate with a world that has flown by me, it can be … tricky. Things others take for granted after years of living in the American culture of the 21st century, I am coming into having read about it, but not personally experiencing it. It’s like reading a guidebook before you get to your destination – things are familiar, but you still have to learn your way around.

While the last 10 years of illness are hazy in my memory (its surprising how quickly the tent is fading away), the previous healthy years of life as a college student and bookstore clerk are surprisingly clear and sharp. This has caused an odd juxtaposition of lives to needing to be merge: The one knows how to live in a fast paced world, but approached it as a healthy and vigorous 24 year old; verses the one who knows how to live with chronic illness and in sync with the seasons of life.

Trying to merge these two dynamic halves into a whole has been both invigorating and stressful.

Last summer I awoke in a new world and a new place, considerably changed from when I fell asleep 10 years ago. As I move through my new surroundings, I am letting fall behind the shackles that bound me, and stepping forth into the rainbow of possibility before me to discover who I have become.

Advertisements

2 responses

  1. Snez

    Hi Lisa 🙂
    Even though I haven’t experienced life in a tent for 10 years I can certainly relate to the “simpler life” statement. When I was very ill there was a beauty to having distilled my life down to the basic necessities, and in the process noticed/appreciated the things that would normally pass people by.

    Those rainbow of possibilities are awesome! And now that you will be the owner of a great little gadget those rainbows are about to get brighter and more exciting…

    Looking forward to hearing about, and seeing those adventures in full blown colour 🙂

    Big hugs to the emerging butterfly 🙂

    March 19, 2012 at 3:09 pm

  2. Hi Snez! Its funny when people think “simpler life,” they often think of living in the countryside and going rustic. For us, it becomes more as you said, a paring down everything in life until you get to the true necessities. Once you live in a place where stuff you used to think was vital (like a morning cup of coffee) now becomes a luxury compared to making sure you get enough to eat that day – the way one looks at life really changes.

    mmm… I’m hugely looking forward to my new camera this week. You are so right, my adventures will now take on new, technicolor proportions! lol Big HUGS! 😀

    March 19, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s